Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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