its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
