You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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