Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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