Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
