1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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