Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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