i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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