Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
