Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
