This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
