it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
