he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
