i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
