why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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