"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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