Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
