Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize