You work out of a Hotel?
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
