and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
