life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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