I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
