There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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