No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
you told grandpa to call you daddy
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
i now understand why vodka
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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