this beer tastes like vomit already
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
