You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
