I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
