ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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