the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
