you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
