he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize