he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Randomize
