She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
