i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
