Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
