hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
