I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
