I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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