Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
