I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
