Jerry, you need to find god
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
