So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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