if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
