And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize