K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize