She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize