This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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