My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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