I'm so fucking centered right now
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
