spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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