I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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