just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
