i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
