I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
