We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize