Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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