Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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