I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
