Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
