I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
